Chapter 3: The Positive Impact of a Good Word
This chapter is all about positive and negative things said to us and that we say to our children. I'm going to pass on some of the passages in the book I particularly liked and then some thoughts I had and then I'll post the questions.
When our young people are reminded of their God-given value, they receive deposits of confidence, security, and well-being in their emotional bank accounts. On the other hand, when our children have nothing positive to believe about themselves, their emotional bank accounts can become bankrupt- overdrawn by the negative comments and disappointments that occur every day in the world around them.
Some psychologists say that a person needs to hear ten positive comments to overcome the effects of a negative one.
So, while I was reading this I wrote out beside it... What were some encouraging things said to you? What were some hurtful things said about you?
We need to be deliberate about building up our children's strengths and putting regular deposits in their emotional bank accounts. We need to make sure they're getting a positive picture of who they are.
Set a goal of saying at least three encouraging comments to each child each day. As you put them to bed at night, do a mental check to see if you have put enough verbal deposits in their emotional bank accounts that day. If you come up short, you can use this bedside time to make up the difference before they doze off.
With your encouraging comments you need to 1. be specific, 2. be prepared, 3. be creative, 4. be resourceful. This means instead of just saying "You make me happy." Say why they make you happy. Have a couple comments prepared ahead of time. Be creative how you deliver them. Leave them a special note in random places. Use Scripture.
DO: Write out four specific accolades for each of your family members and deliver one of them each week for the next four weeks. When you see the positive response you get, you may want to make one day a week your note-writing day to regularly express to your family members and friends how special they are.
Questions:
1. Share a time when someone's words of encouragement were meaningful to you in your life.
2. Can you think of a time when someone's words were damaging to you?
3. What are some creative ways you can give words of encouragement to your family members?
4. Share some of the comments you wrote out in the "Do."
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1. When I was dealing with post-pardon depression, Patrick realized how hard things were for me and he bought me a card and wrote a special note in it for me. It was so wonderful and encouraging.
ReplyDelete2. I think the worst was when my biological mom disowned me-it crushed my world at the time.
3. Writing letters to my children of how special they are to me so that way they will have them in the future.
4. Patrick is playful, fun, encouraging, and loving. Hannah is very loving, helpful, sweet, and compassionate. Christopher is very adventurous, loving, and my cuddle bug.